sorcererest-sorcerer:

Do not cite the deep magics to me, witch. I was there when it was written.

marco3173:

homunculus-argument:

Some situations in life are like when a cat chases a bear up a tree. Logically, you know that a bear could kill the cat with one blow with no effort at all. But a bear has no concept of how cats work. To a bear, everything that’s made out of meat will fight back before becoming prey, once escaping this fate is no longer an option, but nothing that could flee would choose not to, and attack the bear first. As far as a bear is concerned, there is nothing out there that would attack a bear without an absolute confidence that it could kill a bear. If something hits you first, you fucking run.

And cats have no concept of how anything works. As far as a cat is concerned, if there’s something in your face that you don’t want in your face, you just fucking smack it. And if something starts fleeing from you, you chase it.

Sometimes in life there are situations where there only seems to be one logical outcome, the common sense one that seems foregone conclusion. But it only looks like that because you have a clear and realistic view of the big picture. Then the only logical conclusion doesn’t happen, because nobody actually involved in the situation has a realistic understanding of what’s going on.

petits-pois-carcinogenic:

Bad ending

ferventvervet:

kaijuno:

Palpatine looks like an evil Colin Mochrie

but why would you hide this in the tags though

stormesandshowers:

death2america:

This feels like the start to a horror movie and I love it

Me rn:

apas-95:

jonnywaistcoat:

Depends if you find it sexier to submit to the will of charismatic evil or to be overwhelmed by animalistic power. And that’s not a decision I can make for you.

puppybytes:

switching to your secondary pronouns is faster than reloading

atlas-sharted:

cryptotheism:

cryptotheism:

evilwizard:

evilwizard:

cryptotheism:

My job on the commune is to execute evil wizards with my enchanted blade.

hi buddy

cool blade you got there what’s it for

Well this is awkward

So get this

thepleasuregoblin:

helianthus-hellion:

virgo-dicks:

Yeah my name is Tim, short for OpTIMus Prime

[id: tags saying “wait wait i wanna know where they plan on using their full name, why’d you cut it off”]

answer: THEIR WEDDING.

I can’t describe to you the emotion I would feel if I was hanging out with my friend Tim and he was like “hey we’ve been friends for a while now I want to show you something,” and he hands me his driver’s license, upon which I read “Optimus Prime Jones”

caspercryptid:

caspercryptid:

caspercryptid:

caspercryptid:

caspercryptid:

caspercryptid:

caspercryptid:

caspercryptid:

New sleep style: hitting the snooze button so many times that you sleep two additional hours in ten minute intervals. I call this Horse Sleep

Worse sleep. That was meant to say worse sleep

I Am So Fucking Tired

Literally immediately after reblogging this to correct it I went “wow, it has a reblog already?” And got all the way to checking my notifs before I realized. That it was me.

I actually wasn’t that far off you guys

HOLY SHIT THE POST IS SAVED

Anyway horse sleep: sleep, but horse. Worse. Sleep but worse. Definitely one of the two.

We shall have a summer wedding

animusrox:

Barbie (2023) dir. Greta Gerwig

chikuto:

chikuto:

you don’t just “play” final fantasy 14 you either tried it and it wasn’t your sort of game so you never touched it again, or you kept playing it and it fundamentally changed you as a person and irreversibly altered your brain chemistry

or you have never played it but you have friends who play it, and you’ve seen what it does to them and now you’re terrified to touch it

were–ralph:

this tweet genre is so fucking funny i need more of them